Dreams

I'm having dreams about smoking a cigarette. I don't understand the absolute mental committment I have to smoking. Even though it's been days, I'm still entranced. I'm a person in a daze, wondering if I'm really ready to quit. Is this really the end of a years long relationship? Cigarettes have always been there, when other's haven't.... They're there to ease the stress of the day, satiate after a particularly large meal, put the cherry on the top of a good lay. What could possibly replace that?

Nicorette? Hardly. Chewing gum is nothing compared to breathing in a cloud of smooth, warm, minty smoke. Marlboro Menthols, Camel Crushes, Camel Menthes these are the smokes that have me hooked. I'll always be a smoker inside. I'll always want a cigarette when I see one.

In my dreams, I light a cigarette expecting it to be like normal, only a HUGE wave of guilt washes over me. I can't even take the first puff. Disappointment: I can't even smoke in my dreams. Smoking is no longer an option, but I certainly want it to be. This whole decision was clearly not thought out. I'm having separation anxiety from a product that kills me a little bit everytime I use it. Oh dear.